Once we were committed
to the bris, things moved pretty fast. My mom and dad were not as shocked by
our temporarily Jewish status as I expected them to be. I think it helped that my
dad was given a special role in the ceremony. Rabbi Greenfeld (not his real
name) did ask that we schedule it as quickly as possible – even though we were
already late to the bris party in terms of the standard regulation (the eight
day rule), he asked that we not be egregious about it and schedule as close to
that magic number as possible. We invited
a few friends over the next Saturday and dove right in.
The rabbi showed up on time and quickly began working the room like Bill Cosby – if Bill Cosby was your slightly inappropriate and goofy Jewish uncle. At first I was a little bit taken aback by all the joshing and Borscht Belt banter, but after it was all over, I realize that his sense of humor did much to diffuse the nervous-nelliness of the new parents and guests. It was a little bit like a magician’s sleight of hand – while we were all looking over HERE and laughing at his bad jokes, he was setting up his work area quickly and professionally, without having to field any questions about pain or cutting or bleeding or babies in pain. We had our list of supplies on hand – nothing terribly mysterious, fairly standard hospital grade gauze and ointment. Some grape wine to be used as part of the ceremony as well.
Rabbi Greenfeld then got the ceremony started. He presided over a short, extremely thoughtful and general blessing that both explained the traditions of the ceremony and gave us a general overview of Judaism.
I want to be respectful here – both of the ritual as well as of Townes’ future feelings on the subject so I am choosing to refrain from sharing the gory details. Let me just say this: the rabbi had promised us his procedure took less than half a minute in total as opposed to a hospital’s standard fifteen minutes, and that his anesthetic of choice – sugar water – was more effective than any hospital local anesthetic. I was dubious going in, but in the end he completely won me over. Not only did it take less than 30 seconds, but other than a small squeak and his first single tear, Townes remained calm. In fact, he went right to sleep post-procedure in Tim’s arms. The rabbi had told us this would be the case (also that he might sleep pretty much round the clock for the next 18-24 hours).
I couldn’t believe how simple and quick the whole deal was. The most uncomfortable moment came not to Townes during the ceremony, but afterwards when my mom tried to hug the rabbi in thanks. Not being well-versed in rabbinical law, none of us knew that he was not permitted to shake a woman’s hand let alone receive the full-body hug she was attempting. His body language cut her quickly off at the pass, and with that small hiccup in decorum, his work was done. He was quickly on his way – off to another bris in the city. I guess the one area in which the hospital would have been preferable to the home circumcision was in cost, If we had chosen to have circumcised T at the hospital, our insurance would have covered it and we would never have been out of pocket. Doing it this way cost us a few bones. But we both felt like it was well worth the pain to our bottom line to save little man the greater pain.
When he left us, we had the feeling that Rabbi Greenfeld was going to be a part of our family for a long time to come. That turned out not to be the case, though it was a testament to how readily he was able to put us at ease in a situation fraught with natural anxiety. He did come by to do a follow-up with Townes a few days after the ceremony. The verdict upon exam? Some of his best work ever! A very fine looking penis! The parents could not help but concur. He is perfect in every way. A year later, long after this episode had started to blur for me a bit around the edges, Townes received a greeting card from the good rabbi on his first birthday. It reminded me of how kind he was to help our family, and also of the fleeting nature of T’s babyhood. Our little man.
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