mighty messy mama

A DIFFERENT KIND OF GIF

As in Git Fit Fool

a 90 Day Project

I’ve been toying with the idea of doing some sort of online project – inspired by very personal and creative projects such as the forty days of dating project and the 52 photos project. I was thinking my own contribution to this idea would relate to Townes and Daisy, but the more I mulled it over, the more it became clear that this was going to have to be a fitness project. Yes, I am a new mom and yes this is ground well covered by better bloggers than I. But I’m not really fazed by that fact. You know why? Because I am patently MISERABLE in my out-of-shape-ness. Drastic times call for drastic measures. So I am cribbing the format directly from Jessica and Timothy at forty days of dating and I am going to document PUBLICLY my 90 day effort to get in shape.

In case I generate any sort of blowback in reference to this post from the feminist blogosphere hoi polloi I want to say that though I have always been a very small-framed woman with no weight issues, as a now a not-so-small woman with developing weight issues, I do not believe this is particularly about my vanity or unreasonable expectations. And I'm referring to the unrealistic expectations that the mass media and the fashion industry have supposedly foisted upon me. I am a grown-up. I'm not trying to get back to pre-baby levels of fitness in 6 weeks a la half of Hollyweird. I simply feel like crap since I have gained weight. And I have aches and pains the likes of which I never have suffered from before. Therefore, I see a direct correlation between my general good health and my previously small frame. Deal with it.  I want to get healthy. I am getting my mojo back. So there.

The Rules

1. Drink half my body weight in water (in ounces) a day.
2. No fast food whatsoever.
3. No diet sodas.
4. Work out every day in some capacity even if it’s just walking. No giving in because it wasn’t a “real” workout.
5. Fill out the questionnaire every day.
6. One personal act of pampering a week.
7. Weigh-in every week with photo documentation. Ick.
8. Keep a food diary.Boring! But useful!
9. Share the entire project online and in public no matter the outcome. Potentially mortifying!
10. One fitness class a week.
11. One counseling session a week.
12. No alcohol.Eek!
13. Do not be held hostage by the unrealistic expectations of others. You know who you are.

I’m not going to post about this while I am doing it, but will share all the gory details including photos (I said it) starting in November after I have finished the project. Wish me luck. I am going to need it. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Suck it fatness.

 

I just don't know what to do with myself

Dropped Tim and the kids off at the airport today. I won’t be seeing them until Saturday morning when I fly into Buffalo myself for a family wedding. I thought I was going to be more of an emotional basket case, but since we were (of course) running late for the flight, I didn’t really have time to ruminate and generally freak out. And now that everyone’s gone I’m sort of beside myself realizing that I have two nights with essentially no responsibility, no children, no husband. Girlfriends have told me I need to have a few drinks. Tim has told me I need to go to the movies. I mostly have been thinking about mopping the floors and cleaning out the fridge. That's not fun.

When I was single, I definitely needed alone time to regroup and recharge. Having small children means generally putting that need aside for the time being. But it's not something I miss all that much most of the time. Now that I have the next 48 hours to do whatever my heart desires, I'm finding it's the simple things that are sounding most interesting to me.

Top 10 things I plan to do with all my free time:

1. Watch some more Mad Men
2. Take a bath, wash my hair, do my nails
3. Start a new book
4. Watch the Pussy Riot documentary on HBO
5. Go to the gym
6. Clean out the fridge and mop the floors (Boring, but it HAS to be done)
7. Listen to some music
8. Have a glass of wine
9. Leisurely eat dinner not standing over sink
10. Sleep!

Tim and kiddos are due to land any minute now in Chicago. I miss them like crazy already. 

Randomness and Talking with Townes & Daisy

It's been a while. Lots of changes at work over here have me thinking about my priorities and what I really want for my family. More later on that. 

I started a pretty serious workout/healthy eating regime a couple of weeks ago because I just don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror anymore. Also, exercise is my therapy and I realize that without it, I'm not that easy of a person to live with (ask the husband). Sorry Tim! So I have been working out here and there when I can grab 20 minutes (yup, just 20 minutes) and I have been eating healthy and boring (the way I used to before I started scarfing down grilled cheese and pancakes on the fly from the kiddoes plates) and holy moley. I stepped on a scale at the gym yesterday and I have lost 11 el-bees. Yay. On the right path. I'm setting some fitness goals for myself and giving it a good year to meet them. But I feel like I'm making headway in my battle against complacency and self-pity if nothing else. I want to feel strong and I want to run marathons again. I can do it in a year. Might enlist my sister to give me an assist. She has four kids, but is freakishly fit. 

I'm super late to the party, but started watching Mad Men last weekend and I'm hooked! Is it wrong that I think it's hilarious? From the ob/gyn giving an exam with one hand and smoking with the other to the endless parade of sexy, 50's cocktails - I'm all in!

Daisy has turned into something of a little comedian/mimic and chatterbox. Her voice is sort of hilarious - a little bit of a lisp touches everything she says which, of course, makes it all the more adorable to us. She adores Townes and gets upset when she can't physically keep her eye on him. The first thing she says every morning after waking up is "Townes!" Also, everything Daisy says is said with an exclamation point. I don't remember Townes being so assertive. Daisy gets to the point. "Down! Up! Mama! Daddy! Please! are all shouted at us liberally all day long. Tonight at bedtime she wasn't sleepy so she just made it her business to keep Townes awake by making funny faces at him. He couldn't stop laughing. When you ask Daisy how she is or how she feels she will say, "GUD!"

My new favorite conversation with Townes (there are so many) happened a week or so ago. He has become pretty interested in the concept of "liking" or "not liking" something and he weighs in on a sometimes hourly basis to let me know what he likes or does not like. Presently Townes likes Daisy, daddy, macaroni, strawberries, and his loader. Townes tells me "Townes don't like birds all that much, mama." When pressed further he reminds me that the birds at the zoo are "noisy, mama. Townes also don't like monkeys. Monkeys are noisy too." 

But my all time favorite exchange came at bedtime. 

Townes: Mama, do you like me mama?

Me:     Buddy, I LOVE you.

Townes: No. Mama. (Disapproving head shake - you don't get it lady.) But do you LIKE me, mama?

He breaks my heart. So lovely, my little T. Have a great weekend! Lots of fun stuff next week. 

 

 

drinking and quilting don't mix

 

Time to keep myself honest. I think I’ll check in on all my New Year’s resolutions. Eep.

1. Start a mommy blog. Check.
2. Take 3-4 weekend trips sans kiddos. Check. Bit of an exaggeration. Let's call this one "work in progress". We’re going away at the end of the month. So more later on whether or not we actually survive being across state lines from Townes and Daisy.
3. Get finances in order. Made some baby steps this week. Check.
4. Start a restaurant club. Not exactly. But made strides in putting together a drinking club with girlfriends from work. Does that count? One party pooper literally refuses to go east of the 405 (that's a freeway for the non-Angelinos) and states this with absolute  conviction. I’m not really feeling her, especially since her refusal means the rest of us (who all live east of the 405) would need to bring the mountain to Mohammed.
5. I also haven’t written a love note to an author BUT I am not presently reading anything swoon-worthy.
6. Make a gift-worthy quilt. Again, not yet but I am making overtures in that direction. Alyssa over at my new blog obsession, pileofabric. has started a block of the month club. For the uninitiated, this is a quilter’s club where you do a block or two each month and at the end (in theory) you are amazed and thrilled to find you have created an actual quilt. Nifty! This project does not start until January 17^th, so there’s still time to sign up. I’m scared to death, but elated at the same time. Kind of like I felt the first time I went paragliding. Alyssa is also kind enough to include a list of tools you need and video tutorials. Yay! and Yikes! In equal parts. There's still time to sign up too.
7. Lose 30 pounds. I can see this is going to be my biggest challenge. I’m so frustrated already because I have always been the “fit” girl, the “runner” girl, the one with the crazy commitment to early rising (4:30 am? No problem) and working out. My body is not healthy right now, but I'm more concerned about my mental health. Fact. If I am not physically fit, I am not emotionally and mentally fit. Right now, it is all I can do to fall into bed at the end of the night (sometimes I don’t even make it into bed.) I’m not getting enough sleep and I don’t have any energy. If I'm not working out and I'm eating like crap I'm obviously not going to have any energy, so logic dictates that something has to change. I glumly ate half a pie crust a couple of weeks ago by myself for no apparent reason, just sitting on the sofa. I wasn’t even hungry.  I’m mad at myself for not having the willpower to do this and for slowly becoming one of the millions of unfit masses in the country because I know better, but I’m also just kind of angry in general. I’m a little bit afraid at this point that I’m “pissy eating” which is not the same thing (I don’t think) as emotional eating. Pissy eating occurs because I’m pissed that I don’t have any time to allot to a fitness program. I don’t have the one hour a day required. When I have a spare hour, it goes to Townes and Daisy. It just does. I read about moms who say that they take a yoga class or Pilates or kickboxing and because when they are taking care of themselves first that makes them a better mom to their kids and better wife to their husbands. And I believe them. I really do. But I have a full time, demanding career outside of the home and a full time demanding career as a mom and I’m not convinced I’m doing either well at the moment. Waaaaaaaahhhhhh waaaaahhhhhhh waaaahhhh. Pity, party of one over here. Snap out of it, already.  Sheesh. If I was a Mormon mama, or a Christian mama this is where I would say that my love of Jesus will get me through. Or I'd go take a Christan yoga class and surrender to the Lord. Instead, because I am a heathen I will have to resort to buckling down and trying to be a big girl. But not too big. That's part of the problem. I need a fitness fairy to step in and kick my ass. In fact, for the next few weeks, I’m going to report right here on how my fitness quest is going. Just to stress myself out a little and hopefully get my rear in gear. This week, I will start with attending a class at Pop Physique. I see the butts coming out of their studio and I want to go to there. Let’s see what happens. If I'm doing it for the right reasons (to be a better mom and wife), maybe I can stick to it.